I have to speak up about racial injustice.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Here’s the facts on what you are about to read:

Fact number one: I am white.

Fact number two: Because I am white, I am privileged. White privilege to me means that due to my skin color, I don’t have to fear for my life in the same ways our brother and sisters of color do. I don’t have a harder time going about my day to day life in our current society. Police don’t single me out and take me to jail simply because of the color of my skin. That my friends, is privilege.

Fact number three: I am not here to rant about what white privilege means. I’ve been sharing on my personal Facebook and Instagram story about it. You have seen the posts online. And if you haven’t and are confused – maybe because you are white but don’t feel privileged; seek to understand it. Ask questions. I can answer as best I can but I am no expert. White privilege is something I myself have only recently understood, by asking. Asking people of color what I can do as a white person to be better. To help them not only survive but thrive.

Fact number four: I am here to talk about my feelings regarding racial injustice. Mercury is in Cancer so it’s all about feelings right now, isn’t it?

Are you still with me?

Are you feeling intense feelings that you just can’t sum up? Are you hurt, angry, and overwhelmed? Me too.

I feel terrible. My heart is breaking for humans everywhere right now and I can’t stop crying. I’m crying because I’m sad. I’m crying because I’m angry. I’m angry because black men, women, and children are murdered by police and white supremacy on the daily. I’m angry because there are white people in my life who use the N word and box black people into separate categories like they are not just human beings trying to survive. I’m angry because I can’t stand up and speak about how this makes me feel without getting pissed, breaking down, and crying.

I’m sad because black men, women, and children are murdered while our society carry’s on and does everything it can to quiet us down and get back to normal. I am sad because I am going to have to have hard conversations with people going forward when they use the N word, or speak in a racist tone around me (I avoid confrontation like the plague, but I can’t stay quiet about this anymore!). I’m sad that I looked away and ignored the racism that surrounded me for years. I’m sad that these narcissistic people aren’t going to listen to me as I stutter and cry through my sentences. I’m sad that I myself used to make racist jokes when I was young and dumb and I thought I was being funny. I’m sad and I’m angry.

If you are not sad and angry, you need to go within yourself to find out why that is and heal that demon. You are either privileged, narcissistic, downright evil, or all of the above.

Yes, I‘m talking about those that are NOT sad and angry about black men and women getting killed daily! Those who are NOT sad about black men and women being constantly, wrongfully accused and locked up for bull shit reasons! I’m talking about those who are NOT sad and angry about how black men and women are being treated like garbage-non humans. Know this, I’m also including those who are solely sad and angry about the looted stores, and burned down buildings. Those that clung straight to how “messed up” the rioting was, but never once commented on how MESSED UP the blatant, fucked up, white supremacy, murdering, PROOF was. That my friends is narcissistic, evil, and/or straight up blind privilege.

So here I am, a self proclaimed peace maker, calling you out.

If the narcissistic wrongly channeled anger sounds like you, know that I am a peace maker who is pissed the fuck off at your insensitivity. A peace maker who is hoping that those of you who chose to post about the looting and riots/conspiracy theories on George Floyd’s death rather than post about the injustice, police brutality, and white supremacy; are reading this post of mine. I hope if you are one of those people; you read this post and thought, “wow-yeah, I have said some hateful racist things in my life, and I would HATE to be brutally killed like that, our system is unfair and really needs some changes, I should go within myself to heal this racial trauma.”

But that’s just it right? Narcissists don’t feel for others.

They don’t read my posts and think, “wow this girl really cares about peace and love and really just wants me to join her in spreading peace and love by respecting the fact that BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

So I’m asking you, dear readers-if you are a non narcissist and you’re still with me here, don’t let people be racist around you anymore. Don’t be like I was and avoid speaking up in order to avoid confrontation. Tell racists how you feel; speak through the tears; stand up for your fellow humans! Even if you don’t say everything perfectly and they still justify their actions, you saying anything at all, WILL make an immediate difference within your soul. Communication is teaching. Teaching is learning. Learning is changing.

Don’t be ashamed if you didn’t know you were racist. Don’t be ashamed if you didn’t recognize white privilege. Don’t be ashamed if you didn’t stand up for someone in the past. Do your best to change.

Take it from our beautiful bluesy sister Nina Simone:

“I’m just a soul who’s intentions are good.”

Remember, we’re all just misunderstood souls, doing whatever it takes to live. But I am a misunderstood soul who will not stand by and defend our racist society alongside our racist president. I will not stand up to get things back to normal. I will not go backwards! I will hope and pray every day that we can all learn about our white privilege. I pray that we all set politics aside and stop thinking about this as white vs black and cop vs protestor issue. This is bigger than that. We must start thinking of this as human’s fighting for basic human rights. Our leaders must stand with their followers and create solutions that bring us all together – not treat us like garbage and add fuel to the fire (ahem-Trump!)

Dear brothers and sisters of color, I see your skin color, I see your pain. I see my skin color showing no remorse, I see my skin color getting the wrong messages here, and I myself will not quiet down and let it happen anymore. I can’t change them but I can share my feelings with the few followers I have. I can hope that I’ve sparked something within them and have done my best to promote positive change.

Most importantly, I can accept my white privilege.

“Oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

-Emmy

Photo by Alexas Fotos from Pexels

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi from Pexels

We’re Not Done. Never Will Be Done.