{"id":700,"date":"2020-05-30T16:05:35","date_gmt":"2020-05-30T16:05:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/emmyofthelou.com\/?p=700"},"modified":"2022-03-07T01:03:08","modified_gmt":"2022-03-07T01:03:08","slug":"im-just-a-soul-whose-intentions-are-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmyofthelou.com\/index.php\/2020\/05\/30\/im-just-a-soul-whose-intentions-are-good\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Just a Soul Whose Intentions Are Good"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Photo by Alexas Fotos<\/a><\/strong> from Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have to speak up about racial injustice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/path><\/svg><\/span><\/span>Estimated reading time: <\/span>6<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the facts on what you are about to read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fact number one<\/strong>: I am white.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fact number two<\/strong>: Because I am white, I am privileged. White privilege to me means that due to my skin color, I don’t have to fear for my life in the same ways our brother and sisters of color do. I don’t have a harder time going about my day to day life in our current society. Police don’t single me out and take me to jail simply because of the color of my skin. That my friends, is privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fact number three<\/strong>: I am not here to rant about what white privilege means. I\u2019ve been sharing on my personal Facebook and Instagram story about it. You have seen the posts online. And if you haven\u2019t and are confused – maybe because you are white but don\u2019t feel privileged; seek to understand it. Ask questions. I can answer as best I can but I am no expert. White privilege is something I myself have only recently understood, by asking. Asking people of color what I can do as a white person to be better. To help them not only survive but thrive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fact number four<\/strong>: I am here to talk about my feelings regarding racial injustice. Mercury is in Cancer so it’s all about feelings right now, isn’t it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you still with me?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you feeling intense feelings that you just can\u2019t sum up? Are you hurt, angry, and overwhelmed? Me too. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I feel terrible. My heart is breaking for humans everywhere right now and I can\u2019t stop crying. I\u2019m crying because I\u2019m sad. I\u2019m crying because I\u2019m angry. I\u2019m angry because black men, women, and children are murdered by police and white supremacy on the daily. I\u2019m angry because there are white people in my life who use the N word and box black people into separate categories like they are not just human beings trying to survive. I\u2019m angry because I can\u2019t stand up and speak about how this makes me feel without getting pissed, breaking down, and crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sad because black men, women, and children are murdered while our society carry\u2019s on and does everything it can to quiet us down and get back to normal. I am sad because I am going to have to have hard conversations with people going forward when they use the N word, or speak in a racist tone around me (I avoid confrontation like the plague, but I can\u2019t stay quiet about this anymore!). I\u2019m sad that I looked away and ignored the racism that surrounded me for years. I\u2019m sad that these narcissistic people aren\u2019t going to listen to me as I stutter and cry through my sentences. I\u2019m sad that I myself used to make racist jokes when I was young and dumb and I thought I was being funny. I\u2019m sad and I\u2019m angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not sad and angry, you need to go within yourself to find out why that is and heal that demon. You are either privileged, narcissistic, downright evil, or all of the above. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I\u2018m talking about those that are NOT sad and angry about black men and women getting killed daily! Those who are NOT sad about black men and women being constantly, wrongfully accused and locked up for bull shit reasons! I\u2019m talking about those who are NOT sad and angry about how black men and women are being treated like garbage-non humans. Know this, I\u2019m also including those who are solely sad and angry about the looted stores, and burned down buildings. Those that clung straight to how \u201cmessed up\u201d the rioting was, but never once commented on how MESSED UP the blatant, fucked up, white supremacy, murdering, PROOF was. That my friends is narcissistic, evil, and\/or straight up blind privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here I am, a self proclaimed peace maker, calling you out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi<\/a><\/strong> from Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

If the narcissistic wrongly channeled anger sounds like you, know that I am a peace maker who is pissed the fuck off at your insensitivity. A peace maker who is hoping that those of you who chose to post about the looting and riots\/conspiracy theories on George Floyd\u2019s death rather than post about the injustice, police brutality, and white supremacy; are reading this post of mine. I hope if you are one of those people; you read this post and thought, “wow-yeah, I have said some hateful racist things in my life, and I would HATE to be brutally killed like that, our system is unfair and really needs some changes, I should go within myself to heal this racial trauma.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that\u2019s just it right? Narcissists don\u2019t feel for others. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

They don\u2019t read my posts and think, \u201cwow this girl really cares about peace and love and really just wants me to join her in spreading peace and love by respecting the fact that BLACK LIVES MATTER.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I\u2019m asking you, dear readers-if you are a non narcissist and you\u2019re still with me here, don\u2019t let people be racist around you anymore. Don\u2019t be like I was and avoid speaking up in order to avoid confrontation. Tell racists how you feel; speak through the tears; stand up for your fellow humans! Even if you don\u2019t say everything perfectly and they still justify their actions, you saying anything at all, WILL make an immediate difference within your soul. Communication is teaching. Teaching is learning. Learning is changing.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t be ashamed if you didn\u2019t know you were racist. Don\u2019t be ashamed if you didn\u2019t recognize white privilege. Don\u2019t be ashamed if you didn\u2019t stand up for someone in the past. Do your best to change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take it from our beautiful bluesy sister Nina Simone: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m just a soul who\u2019s intentions are good.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Remember, we\u2019re all just misunderstood souls, doing whatever it takes to live. But I am a misunderstood soul who will not stand by and defend our racist society alongside our racist president. I will not stand up to get things back to normal. I will not go backwards! I will hope and pray every day that we can all learn about our white privilege. I pray that we all set politics aside and stop thinking about this as white vs black and cop vs protestor issue. This is bigger than that. We must start thinking of this as human’s fighting for basic human rights. Our leaders must stand with their followers and create solutions that bring us all together – not treat us like garbage and add fuel to the fire (ahem-Trump!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear brothers and sisters of color, I see your skin color, I see your pain. I see my skin color showing no remorse, I see my skin color getting the wrong messages here, and I myself will not quiet down and let it happen anymore. I can\u2019t change them but I can share my feelings with the few followers I have. I can hope that I’ve sparked something within them and have done my best to promote positive change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, I can accept my white privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh lord, please don\u2019t let me be misunderstood.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

-Emmy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photo by Alexas Fotos<\/a><\/strong> from Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi<\/a><\/strong> from Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We’re Not Done. Never Will Be Done.<\/a><\/blockquote>