Dudes, I’ve been STRUGGLING to write this one. I’d like to try to post about the new zodiac seasons as they begin but I just can’t get it together with this one.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

I’m a Cancer sun so I should be super pumped about this season, right? Sadly, it isn’t so. I literally wrote up multiple drafts for this, scratched them and called them “journal prompts” because they were too fucking melancholic and moody. But shit if that ain’t Cancer! I don’t know what is?!?

In both drafts I attempted to get to the root of why I loath Cancer season these days. I didn’t use to!! Years ago I loved summer. I loved July specifically! I loved bonfires and boats and pools and playing in the yard! Maybe the issue is, I don’t have a yard anymore? I know I definitely want one…. but maybe it’s deeper than that!

The first draft I wrote blamed it on the Coronavirus. I mentioned how for so long (pre Corona), I was so tired of people wanting to do things every, Single, WEEKEND. Especially in summer!! The people go nuts with plans and major events all summer long, and it’s exhausting for us Cancers. My issue this year though, is that I finally got that taste of solitude, and I want more! People are already acting like the Coronavirus isn’t a thing anymore. But I know it’s not over. And I think most people do know it’s not over, they just don’t want to admit that. They want to live their lives. They want to enjoy their summers like they used to!

So why don’t I?

The second draft blamed it on my birthday. It was some drawn out blab about how much I’ve hated my birthdays in the past and how it’s a bad ju ju day for me. But it was mostly just blab. I don’t honestly remember most of my birthdays. I blocked most of them from my memory. And it’s not like I’ve had some traumatic birthday experience. I think I just generally crave attention while despising it at the same time. So a day that’s supposed to be all about me is exhausting! More Cancer crabbiness afoot! I really just want to be left alone on July 20th.

I can’t blame my overwhelming issues with Cancer season on one day, though! What can I blame it on?

Well, I realized I shouldn’t blame it on anything. Every issue in life is a hodgepodge of things that are to blame. Any one thing is never the culprit. That said, another big contributing factor I’ve gotta mention is my job.

I work in the hotel industry and I’ve worked many different positions throughout it; however, every single one of them is EXHAUSTING in the summer. You literally get to watch, plan, and clean up everyone else’s fun vacations and getaways. And most of the vacationers treat you like garbage. Granted it’s hard to treat people well in Missouri when it’s 100 degrees and muggy as shit-so I kind of get it…

But I don’t directly deal with guests anymore. I just enter their rooming lists and other data type things. I even get to work from home now! So why am I still so negative in the summer? Is it because I hate numbers and data and would rather be in a pool all day? Yes. That is it. That’s gotta be the answer!

Or rather, part of the answer.

These are all parts of the answer to why I struggle during Cancer Season. We are all complex beings with many facets. And we can’t solve all of the negative aspects that occur in our lives. But we can write out, or speak out, our issues so that we can asses them and get down to the bigger picture.

Consistently, the theme I see in all these struggles is home.

Cancer rules the home and I have some serious issues with all things home right now. I haven’t found my home, metaphorically or physically. I am not comfortable in my apartment with no yard; I am not comfortable with my life/career path; and I am not comfortable going out and about with friends (mostly because I am not comfortable in my own skin). I don’t feel at home in any of these areas of my life. And these are major areas!

So I can blame it on all of the things, give up, cry, and say boo hoo me. But I’m tired of doing that. I’ve done that for too long! It’s easy to do! Sure it’s not comfortable, but it’s easy to revert back to my shell when I’m scared. What’s not easy for me though, is confronting people. It’s not easy to tell people exactly how I feel and what I need in the moment. (Examples: I need to stay home today; I need to do work that makes me feel good; I need to borrow your pool for a self healing ritual!) Please know this; if you and your Cancer placements are like me, it’s not impossible for us crabs to confront people! We were given claws for a reason!

Ultimately, Cancer season is challenging for me. My sun sign (Cancer) is challenging for me. My rising and moon signs are total opposite (Capricorn). While opposite can mean balance it can also mean tension. It all depends on how I choose to interact with these opposite energies. And Capricorn energy has been challenging these past few years between Pluto and Saturn doing all their things in Capricorn. I’ve been pushed even farther out of my Cancer shell and into my Capricorn spotlight; and, that scares the shit out of me. But I haven’t been fully pushed yet.

2020 has shown everyone the importance of staying home and practicing self care. That will always be important. But it is a time for me personally to explore a different side of myself and dip my toe ever so slightly in a different direction. My goal is to one day be a pro at astrology and give birth chart readings to help you all learn about yourselves and what the year ahead will bring for you specifically, but I am not there yet!

I’ve shared this portion of my story with you, hoping that if you relate to even a sliver of it, you know that you are not alone. You are not just a moody crab (or dealing with someone who is.) We all have every sign within us; and when we learn about the energies that each sign brings and where it is located in our charts, we develop deeper understandings of ourselves and how each year, month, and day is going to affect us. We can use Astrology as a tool to understand and accept our flaws!

I love my crabby ass!! I’ve tried so hard to please everyone for so long, but I’m over it! I’m a crabby badass! All I want is for people to leave me alone most days so I can write, play, and cry in my introverted bubble! So why try so hard to fight this and be a bubbly, happy person ALL the time? It just ain’t me. Fuck people pleasing. Balance baby, balance.

I am a Cancer sun. I am weepy. I am a homebody. I am obsessed with nurture and nature. I am chill. I am angry. I am angsty. I am what I am. It all depends on the day with us Cancers!

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So tell me, where is Cancer in your chart? What sign? What house? How can you nurture and accept that part of yourself? I’d love to chat about it! Email me, message me, dm. Whatever!

The more we explore the inner workings of our selves. The stronger we become. Let’s do it together! (But apart at the same time, because Coronavirus is still happening and like I just said, I’m moody as hell… so I’m really a better typer than I am speaker. Just message me, ok?) 😘